So... we meet again.
Hello Cat, Nigel, Mary... our gay crush Adam Shankman. tee heee shankman. He likes to... no... I'll stop.
We find that Noel being injured doesn't particularly bother us today, but we're unclear - is Billy sick? What's going on? Renee's telly is crap - that's what's going on! It skips and stutters and the sound goes in and out - comcast has been put on notice. (not that they care)
So, we begin...
First Up:
Nigel's claim that last nights dancing was the best he's EVER seen... Really?!?!? EVER?!?!?! REALLY!?!?!?! Ok.
Moving on... Our first pairing is: Channing and Phillip - or as we shall call him from now on - Mr. Bojangles. Seriously, what is up with the constant smiling. It's creepy. It's like a bad character in a 40's movie. It's like a clown doll in a horror movie. I don't like it! Channing is adorable though.
Jason Gilkison (new choreographer) is teaching them the jive!
M: I'm a fan of her outfit.
R: Me too. She doesn't need him though.
M: They have all the chemistry of a wet dishrag.
R: that under the legs lift thing was awkward.
M: Indeed.
R: F'n A.
Judges Opinion: Adam - Classy pairing. Mary - Not bad, but she wants more. Nigel - is silent because of Renee's TV. But he looks funny when he bounces. Oh look, Nigel's back talking about lack of chemistry!!!
Next up:
Ashleigh and Jakob - not our most favorite pairing.
Tyce Diorio or Keith?!?!?
R: Oh look, it's Hillary Swank!
M: Her hair is too long! It's distracting.
R: She's got a great strut going on and she's not pulling faces like she has been!
M: He's good but his hands read "Gay!"
Judges Opinion: Adam - loves him, wants her to work on her hands. Mary thought she did great and LOVES him. Nigel - is patting himself on his back for keeping her and Jakob is one of the most "gifted" dancers on the show.
Now - we take a break to mop the stage from the pool created by Jakobs sweat!
Next up:
Ariana and Peter doing hip hop by NappyTabs.
R: Well then crotch highlight. and butt spot.
M: I like this song - too bad I can't hear it.
R: Sorry.
Judges Opinion: Adam wanted them to be - no sound. Not enough action and no sound. Always, incredibly talented musicality - wait, when did L'il C show up? Mary - thought it was sloppy in the middle. Nigel - got boo'd. He's wearing a lovely pair of grey striped cranky pants!
Next up:
Russell and Noelle
Fox trot choreographed by El Capitan Lapatin!
R: Did the song really just say vagabond shoes gets penis love?
M: and the whores!
R: No! Certainly not the whores.
M: So distracted by the choppy music.
R: It seemed good to me - I love the Russell
M: Me too. Damn your television!
R: Sorry.
Judges Opinion; Adam loved it and loves Russell. Mary thought it was great and think he's going places. Nigel wants to keep dance in schools.
(an aside: Maggie thinks Fred Astaire had some animalistic rage and could totally have Krumped! - just sayin')
Next up:
Victor and Biancer ;)
Travis Wall contemporary piece - YAY - LOVES THE TRAVIS!
R: For a tap dancer - she's pretty darn good.
M: Can I say something about her dress?
R: Yes.
M: I frickin hate it! It makes her look fat. Why make perfectly fit girls look fat.
R: I can see that.
M: Victor is invisible to me - like I just don't even think about him.
R: Yeah, I didn't remember him at all. And I was just paying more attention to her. I liked all the tricks!
M: I noticed the Travis Wall turn from him, but that was it.
Judges Opinion: Adam loves Travis's choreographer. Thinks Bianca is stiff but thinks Victor is a revelation. Mary loved it - why can't the sound cut off now?!?!? Nigel - bring it back to Travis.
Next Up:
Kevin and Karen
Chacha with Toni and Lapatin!
R: Is he mouthing the words?
M: I don't know - I was distracted by her costume - which I like.
R: You know what I don't like? His sex face.
M: Nice bun dude.
Judges Opinion: Adam - (aside - when he said "that's not really my thing" in reference to being attracted to her M and R died and peed a little in their pants - that was AWESOME!) loved Karen and gave props to Kevin. Mary put Karen on the Hot Tamale train....but Kevin's been left at the depot waving at the train. Nigel thought they danced that very well indeed.
Next Up:
Ryan and Ellenore. Ryan likes his bowflex.
Contemporary with Sonya.
R: That's some cocky confidence from Ellenore.
M: The things on the bottom of her pants make her look like she pooped herself.
R: I'm not digging it - Sonya is no Mia Michaels.
M: Not the best think in SYTYCD history... no, definitely not.
Judges Opinion: Adam thought it was totally beautiful and unique - (R: Really?!?!) Mary: thought the chemistry was crazy good - (R: Really!?!?!) Nigel enjoyed it. (M: is Nigel high?!)
Next Up:
Pauline and Brandon - what?!?!?! Billy's GONE!!!!!!!!!!!! This makes me the most saddest ever.
New choreographer guy dancing a waltz.
R: I'm too distracted by the fact that Billy's gone to care about the smooth waltz.
M: I'm distracted by her dress.
R: That too. I like all the stars.
Judges Opinion: Adam thought they did well. Mary thought they did really well and they're a cute couple. Nigel thought it wasn't strong enough.
Next Up:
Legacy and Katheryn (aka: Squeakersqueak)
Doing Hip Hop by Dave Scott.
R: That's what full commitment looks like, huh?
M: this is probably my favorite of the night so far.
R: Me too.
M: I was really impressed by her.
R: Yeah - considering her voice is grating... and I want to kill her sometimes, she was pretty awesome.
M: He's hot. And she looks really good dirty.
R: I concur.
Judges Opinion: Adam - Dave Scott, Dave Scott, Dave Scott, Dave Scott. Good job. Mary (needs to stop screaming) Murphy thought it was great. Nigel enjoyed the hip hop quest for fire.
Next Up:
Mollee and Nathan
Doing a disco routine by Doriana Sanchez.
R: I love Nathan!
M: She looks like she's 14
R: Yes.
M: Like a 14 year old playing with makeup.
R: But, she's got enough energy for the DISCO! (I hate disco)
M: He on the other hand looks lost and erratic.
R: OH! Nice trick!
M: I enjoy the tricks.
R: what will the judges say?
M: They'll say she looks young and he looks lost and erratic.
R: Let's find out.
Judges Opinion: Adam - your energy is infectious. (They are the swine flu of the competition) Mary thinks they have great charisma. Nigel thought it was great energy and fun.
Decision Time:
Ariana, Brandon, Pauline, Russell (WTF, RUSSELL?!?!?!)
M: I think Brandon and Pauline are going to go
R: I think it might depend on the solo.
M: I think it will be Ariana and Brandon.
R: If it's Russell I'm going to be soooooooooooooo mad.
And out - Ariana and Brandon.
Okiedokie...
